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Review: G.I. JOE

Gijoe

Aldus, ik had vanavond Apy meegesleurd naar Breda om naar G.I. JOE te gaan. M’n verwachtingen waren niet bepaald hoog (ik had de trailer gezien, en ken het source material) maar ik wilde voor de nostalgia gewoon graag erheen.

Ik kan u vertellen: m’n lage verwachtingen werden compleet ingelost. Het ‘plot’ was all over the place, een hoop dingen sloegen compleet nergens op (herpa derp: "WE CAN’T ACTIVATE THOSE BOMBS HERE, THIS IS A CIVILIAN LAB!" 2 minuten later een shot van het lab: BAM OVERAL MOTHERFUCKING LICHTGEVENDE PIJPEN, BLASTDOORS EN HIGH-TECH GIMMICKS) en vooral het acteertalent van het hoofdpersonage liet nogal wat te wensen over. Waar G.I. JOE echter wel in slaagt, is een entertaining film zijn: de ene actiescene volgt de volgende met maximaal vijf minuten pauze op, de actie is goed gecoreografeerd, zit vol met CG en het gaat letterlijk zo: "Man, fucking robotvissen, kunnen ze nog wat stommers bedenken? OH SHIT WAT DE FUCK EEN ONDERWATERSTAD. MOTHER OF COCKS EEN ONDERWATER TRAININGCENTRE WAARIN G.I.’S LEREN MET PERSONAL SUBMARINES MENSEN NEER TE SCHIETEN! OH WAT DE VLIEGENDE NEUK DE EIFELTOREN WORDT OPGEGETEN DOOR NANOTERMIETEN!!" Deze film overtreft zichzelf keer op keer met ongeloofwaardigheid en dat is al een prestatie op zich.

Maar all in all is het gewoon een film zonder plot, en met veel ontploffingen. Zonder de nostalgiafactor zou ik ‘m niemand aan kunnen raden. Daarnaast heeft G.I. JOE eerlijk gezegd maar één echt goed punt, namelijk:

Gi_joe67_2

Oh, en die andere chick in een skintight armored pakje. Ik ben daar al fan van sinds Batman & Robin (Batgirl, faggots).
Én (en dit is eigenlijk best wel een grote en, want het is echt heel erg awesome) er zit een schijtlading aan Star Wars referenties in, met met stip voorop de Hoth scene waarin de dialoog gewoon direct uit Star Wars komt (‘I’m not picking up anything on scanners ‘), waardoor ik toch wel even een klein nerdgasmpje kreeg.
Maar verder heeft de film dus weinig te bieden, behalve VEEL ACTIE ACTIE ACTIE 2 uur (!) lang.

Verdict: 5,5/10 of 6,5/10 met nostalgiawaarde.

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2 comments on “Review: G.I. JOE

  1. niec
    10 September 2009

    love your new banner dude

  2. Harry d. Busdriver
    11 September 2009

    Dank ^^
    Oh! Ik moet je nog mailen! Dat ga ik even doen =p

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This entry was posted on 29 August 2009 by in Film, Reviews and tagged , .

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Are you hyped for the #WinterOlympics yet?
Because the Korean government would really, really like you to be #hype!

I've never really been into the Olympics, except for that one time when the guy who was born in the same town I lived in (#GianniRomme) was raking in Gold Medals like it was one of those coin pusher games - and even then it was mostly because my school was making a big deal out of it.
As such, I'm not very interested in the Winter Olympics either, even though this is the first time I'd be able to attend the events myself and watch my country's athletes get burried in speed skating medals.

Still, I hope Korea will put on a show - and a performance - to be remembered for years to come.

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#Olympics #Olympic #Korea #Seoul #Lotte #Departmentstore #SooHorang #Christmas #decoration #decorations #shopwindow #shop #pyeongchang2018 #pyeongchang #평창 #평창2018 #올림픽 #겨울 #수호랑 #스타크래프트 is love #Starcraft is life.

Being a Starcraft fan in Korea feels a lot like what I'd imagine being a rich acquaintance of Ronaldo would feel like for a football fan - you get front row seats to all the major games, get to meet legends like Messi, Robben or Buffon (in our case, Byun, SoO or Stats) and get to ask for their signature pretty much whenever you want - all without paying a single penny.

The professional scene has been taking hit after hit since I started getting interested in it, and I'm afraid it'll never be the same as it once was, but I'm glad that in 2018, as well, I'll be able to enjoy some of the best e-Sports the world has to offer.

#WingsOfLiberty down, #HeartOfTheSwarm and #LegacyOfTheVoid to go.

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#스타2 #스타크래프트2 #Starcraft2 #Byun #TY #Maru #INnoVation #esports #gaming #progamer #Korean #Korea #e스포츠 #진에어 #진에어그린윙스 #SKT1 #Dark #collection #collector #PC #RTS #변현우 #이신형 #전태양 #조성주 처음 한국에서 @kim.minji.ki204 가 그린 책을 발견할 때부터 (그 #책 읽을 수 없어도, ㅎㅎ) 한 순간엔 큰 #팬 되었고 작년 #서울일러스트레이션페어 에서 직접 만날 수 있어서 너무 즐거웠다.

이제 인스타로 새 책을 받을 수 있는 이벤트가 있어서 당연히 참여해야지~

#kimminji #thejunglebook #정글북 #정글북리그램이벤트 #indigo 한국에서 역사랑 현대 항상 어떤 이상한 발렌스로 공존한다.

In Korea, the past and the present are always living together in some sort of awkward balance.
Traditional norms, values and traditions clash with the influence of a rapidly modernizing and developing society; pride in one's roots compete with a constant need to move forward, and historical buildings vie for room to breathe in the middle of a metropolis.
I hope Korea manages to move forward without forgetting the things that make it unique.

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#대한민국 #한국 #절 #불교 #봉은사 #역사 #현대 #발렌스 #서울 #Seoul #Korea #SouthKorea #Temple #Shrine #Buddhism #Buddha #traditional #Buddhist #history #present #balance #City #koreantemple #development #Metropolis #tranquility #modernization This is such an #unoriginal picture but..doesn't it look just like a #postcard?

#Seoul #Korea #SouthKorea #Namsan #NamsanTower #City #Road #Traffic #Korean #mountain #trees #green #NSeoulTower #Tower #서울 #도시 #남산 #남산탑 #산 #탑 #도로 #엽서 #그림엽서 #남산타워 On some nights, when I'm feeling all beat down by stress and worries about whether or not I'll be able to support myself over here or where my life is heading, and when I'm just drunk enough, when I see the second snow of the year coming down outside my window, I just can't help but go outside, play some music and dance in the snow like an idiot because for some reason it just reminds me of how much I love being in this country.
Fuck you, Korea. I love you.
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#secondsnow #firstsnow #둘째눈 #첫눈 #Seoul #서울 #snow #눈 #Korea #SouthKorea #Korean #Life #Street #KyungHeeUniversity #KyungHee #경희 #경희대 #dongdaemoon #동대문구 #이문동 #winter #겨울 #atmosphere #분위기 #reallylongsentence
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