Helo welcom 2 my websight
Iemand op /toy/ had het originele idee om een giveaway te doen waarvoor je moest werken; je moest namelijk een kort verhaaltje schrijven over wat er gebeurt als je een pre-order cancelt bij Otacute. Otacute is een Japanse webstore waar je figuurtjes enzo kan kopen, en in hun algemene voorwaarden staat dat je, als je eenmaal gepreordered hebt, die order niet kunt cancellen en je binnen een week moet betalen. Op /toy/ zijn geruchten gepost dat ze ties hadden met de maffia, en dat je om van je pre-order af te komen je ringvinger op moest sturen naar japan om Boss Yuhei (de CEO van de store) niet te dishonoren. Ze worden dan ook grappend Otakuza genoemd (ipv Otacute, you know, Yakuza?)
Anyways, gratis toys zijn altijd leuk en een stukje schrijven ook, dus voila, ‘Pastic Despair’ door Anonymous of Holland:
It all started when I pressed the 'cancel' button on the Otacute website. I had heard stories about them on 4chan, but had dismissed them as the mad rantings of equally mad anonymous users. Oh how I wish I had listened to those fine gentlemen. How I wish I had heeded their warnings instead of cluelessly hitting that button. But it's too late now, too late to take it all back.
Let me start at the beginning for the sake of coherency, although I doubt I can be very coherent with my mind in such a state. Two weeks ago, I had pre-ordered Figma Mugi from Otacute, a Japanese webstore that sells figures and other merchandise geared towards connoisseurs of anime such as myself. She had always been one of my favorite anime characters, and her giant eyebrows were more moe than I could ever have imagined. I was pleased I got the pre-order in before all the slots had been filled, but in the back of my head one question kept arising: 'What if they'll release the Don't Say Lazy versions next?' This first wave of K-On! figmas were indeed labeled 'School Uniform Ver.', quietly hinting at other versions being made available in the future, and I didn't want to be stuck with a boring schoolgirl when I could also have awesome goth Mugi. I decided to sleep on it for a night, but you already know what happened.
I decided I'd rather keep my money and await any future releases, lest I end up with one figure in the school uniform style and the others in Don't Say Lazy style or be forced to buy two of each, so I went to the Otacute website and hit the 'cancel' button. In the little box asking me why I cancelled, I wrote "Would rather have the Don't Say Lazy ver. Terribly sorry, Tom." I thought that would be the end of it. How very wrong I was.
The day after, I received an e-mail from 'Otacute Customer Service' saying:
we have been informed of your decision to cancel your preorder of 'Figma Mugi School Uniform Ver.' We regret but understand your decision and will inform Boss Yuhei of this immediately.
I had no idea who this 'Yuhei' character was, but I just assumed he must've been the higher-up who dealt with orders and stuff.
I went about my day as usual, watching some anime, reading a few comics, making dinner and finally going to bed. I was almost asleep when the first irregular occurrence took place. Usually when I went to bed, the birds in the neighborhood would be up and about, tsjirping at their loudest to make sure I could never peacefully fall asleep. That night, not a single bird was stirring. I didn't think too much of it and enjoyed the hours of quiet, but as I woke up, there were still no sounds whatsoever coming from outside. Living next to a rather busy road, I was surprised, so I got up and walked towards the window. Groggy from just waking up, I pulled open the blinds.
I was staring directly at a wall of bricks. Neatly stacked on top of each other, completely blocking my window. I was surprised and didn't know what to think of it. If only I had seen what this might lead to, if only I had made the connection in my mind! But I hadn't, and I walked to the door to go outside and look at what happened to my window. The doorway was also walled shut, of course, and there was nowhere left to go. This time, the fear of being trapped inside this small studio apartment finally took hold of me as I slammed my fists into the brick wall.
"Help!" I cried, "Is somebody out there!?"
I wiped the sweat from my brow, panting heavily. I was sitting on something soft. I looked around. I was back on my bed.
Quickly, I ran towards the window and jerked it open in one swift movement. The bricks were gone. There was no indication of them ever even being there. I opened the door and stepped into the hallway. Nothing there either.
Back then, I had written it all off to a very, very vivid dream. I didn't know any better. I wouldn't have believed my own story if I hadn't lived through it myself!
That evening I got another e-mail from Otacute Customer Service:
hopefully, we didn't scare you too much. Please reconsider the cancellation of your preorder; or should we reveal to you our true power?
You have 12 hours to reply.
Did these people really come all the way from Japan to Europe in a matter of hours, just to wall me into my room and take down the walls the day after? Impossible. And even if they did, I wouldn't back down just from some idle threats. They're a legitimate company, for God's sake, they wouldn't do this sort of shit!
So I replied to them:
I don't know what kind of game you are playing here, but I will take my business somewhere else. I believe AmiAmi has the same figure up for pre-order on their site right now. You will not hear from me again.
Of course I was a fool to believe this would've been enough to stop the power of Boss Yuhei. These Japanese people meant business, and were obviously not scared to fight for it. After another uneventful day, I received another e-mail:
we are sorry you feel this way. Boss Yuhei has told me to relay to you the following message: "Tom, we do not take kindly to baka gaijin threatening to take their business elsewhere. If you wish my forgiveness, I shall require your ring-finger in a cooled box sent to my office. There will be no negotiation regarding this. We will not stop until you choose to dishonor us no further."
The e-mail was so absurd that it had made me laugh. What would they do? Come back and block my windows again? Oh deary me whatever shall I do!?
I chose to ignore the silly e-mail and after browsing /toy/ until 4 AM decided to go to bed.
This time, there was no denying what was happening was real.
I saw some shadows moving by the foot of my bed, and instinctively jumped up to flick on the light switch. Nothing happened. Surrounded by the dark, I tried to fall back asleep, writing the shadow off as a play of my tired and anxious mind. That is, until my bed started shaking.
A giant tentacle tore through my wall as if it was made of cottage cheese, bricks and mortar flying around the room, obscuring my vision. I quickly grabbed my bat from beside the bed and hit the squishy thing with it, but it was so big I doubt it even felt the tiniest of stings. Filthy, pinkish slime dripped from the tentacle unto my face and body as I jumped up to face it. I must've been going mad, there was no other explanation for it. Perhaps this Yuhei had sent someone over to drug me in my sleep. This could not be happening to me! The tentacle closed in on me and hovered in front of my face. As I backed up, trying to avoid the horrid smell of the thing, two eyes popped out of the soggy surface, followed by a tiny mouth filled with rows and rows of teeth.
"Tom?" It asked me, looking surprisingly much like the awesomeface jpg I had seen on 4chan.
"Y-yes?" I stammered.
"You know why I'm here, Tom." the awesomeface said to me, sheep
ishly grinning as he spoke, "I'm here for your finger, stupid. You should've heeded Anonymous' warnings, but it is too late for you now."
My mind was racing, and I was sweating like a stuck pig. Was this really happening? It was. It was really happening. The smell of the thing almost made me puke, there was no fucking way this was all a dream.
What should I do? I can't just fucking cut off my finger, that is insanity! Then again, if that was insanity, what would that make a giant pink tentacle with an awesomeface tearing up my room?
"I—I…" I stuttered, uselessly.
"Look, Tom, you can either give me an answer now, or I can go ahead and re-arrange some furniture. I hope you're not too attached to those petit nendoroids you have standing over there?" The giant squidlike thing pointed to my Detolf, stacked to the brim with petit nendoroids I had won in online giveaways.
"No!" I responded resolutely, "No. Not the nendos."
"So what will it be then, Tom?"
"I'll give him what he wants." I said, "I'll give him my fucking finger if that's what would make this madness stop."
The awesomeface on the tentacle just smiled an even greater smile, resembling a trollface, and then, in a moment shorter than a single second, disappeared.
I opened my eyes and was back on my bed again. There was no sign of any of the pinkish goo anywhere, nor was there a gaping hole in my
All throughout the day though, I was reminded of the horrible truth of what I had witnessed. The awesomeface turned up wherever I went, reminding me of the promise I had made, reminding me not to dishonor Boss Yuhei. It was on the clock at uni, telling me 'not to be late', on my gym teacher, telling me to 'stop being such a girl about it' and finally on my Vanille Playarts telling me to 'cut that shit off ~ne?'
I was desperate. I couldn't tell anyone of this nightmare I had been living. After all, who would believe me? There was absolutely no evidence that my life was being messed up by this supernatural Yakuza Boss, nothing to show I was right for looking over my shoulder ever step of the way back from uni.
I couldn't take it anymore.
So I did it…
I cut off my ring finger and placed it in a box together with a few bags of ice to keep it cold and sent it off to Japan.
I had done everything they wanted. Everything this 'Boss Yuhei' had asked of me..
But what had grown out of the stump that used to be my finger, is something I could never describe without rendering both myself and the reader utterly insane…