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E3 2010 EA Press Conference

t22 [Do you remember back when EA was the bad guy in the games industry? Oobisoft sure fucked that up!


I’ve switched to IGN. It has no retarded ‘social chat’, better sound, and a HD stream. Hopefully my buffering won’t reflect that.
(It’s already being kinda shitty. I’ll see if I can put up with it.)
(Shit I just found myself following the retards asking if ‘this stream is sound only!?!??!?///1’ on that social stream because I’m bored while waiting. Fuck.)

Alright, so we’re starting with…Need for Speed Hot Pursuit?

NFS
[This kinda reminds me of Blur. (GET IT?)]


I liked the first game but is this really something to open with?
Well, anyway, racan, nice graphican, you know the drill.
The guy is talking like a robot btw.
Oh lol did the game just crash? YOUR GAME JUST CRASHED. This is hilarious.
And an accurate deduction from the feed: “unlike stupid undercover , it is much more better!” (Yes, IGN also has a stupid feed, but its users appear to be slightly less retarded.)

EA is gonna showcase 10 games in their time.
FUCK YES DEAD SPACE 2 UP IN THIS SHIT!

Deadspace     Deadspace2

[Shooting babies, looking awesome: you know you want to play this motherfucker.]


Ah shit yeah, we’ll be playing in some sort of industrial city, fighting doze aliens with giant gu…GAMEPLAY! GAMEPLAY!
Fuck yeah this is looking GREAT! Creepy as fuck little mutant babies running around everywhere inside a dark and brooding church? You know I’ll be cautiously walking to the toilet once again! I’m kind of afraid it’ll lose it’s claustrofobic and sci-fi touch though..but we shall see. At least the dude referenced the comics, so they might do some more for Dead Space 2. Also, this gameplay presentation is pretty long; I love it! The graphics are looking beautiful as well, loads of cool scripted events, Dead Space 2 will be a winner!
(There will be more at the Sony Conference, apparently. Can’t wait!)

EA LA and Dice are working together on the new Medal of Honor game, also known as Medal of Modern Call of Warfare 2.

Medal of Rehash
[Insert something slightly humorous here]


They’re doing a live 24 player demo of the Alpha right now though, that is kinda ballsy. Hopefully there’ll be some nice glitches going on.
*Not many glitches to speak of, and it’s all looking pretty slick. Of course I don’t care about unoriginal multiplayer shootan gaems such as this, but if you like that sort of thing, you’ll be pleasantly surprised.*
Also, I just got some icecream. Eatan icecream and watchan E3. This is the best Monday ever.

They’re setting up some sort of reward system for people who..play games..I guess? It’s called ‘Gun Club’ and it sounds completely retarded. IF YOU PLAY DEM GAEMS, YOU CAN GET DEMOS EARLIER! Or something. I dunno, it’s stupid.
Some Battlefield DLC, milkan cows, etc.

Uh oh, EA Sports coming up.
Hopefully all the EA Sports games will count as one game, because if not…this presentation might go downhill quickly.
Anyway, here’s some Cage Fightan game.
Oh, and they’ve set something up where you can stream your game live to lots of other people (if someone actually chooses to watch this) while playing. Might be nice if it catches on. Then again, why would I tune in to someone playing a game while I could be playing it myself?

Active
[EA Waggle 2 ™ Now you can know how fast your greasy heart is beating while you waggle!]


Now there’s some guy telling us about the EA wii sports games. ‘EA Active’. They’ll also be forcing their shitty wagglan gaems unto xbox and PS3 owners! And we can watch people making fools out of themselves while BODY WAGGLAN again. For 10 minutes. Great. It does show AWESOMELY how crap the wii and PS3 versions will be though. The Natal game is so much better due to being 1-1 while the PS3 and Wii versions have giant fucking lag everywhere.
New Madden game, supposedly both easier to play and deeper. Which seems like a paradox to me, but whatever, only Americans care about rugby.

There’s some dude talking about the Sims3 right now. What?

Sims
[Look at that guy’s beard. Seriously he’s like Doctor House or some shit. What you can’t see it? Go read a HD blog then!]


I wonder where he’s going with this..he’s been talking about how the brain of a Sim in Sims3 works for like 5 minutes now. Is this about a new expansion pack?
OH LAWD, they’re bringing the Sims 3 to consoles. Like, not in a watered-down version, but a 1 on 1 port of the pc version. I wonder if this will work, but, well, EA must’ve smelled money somewhere. It’s bound to open up a new market of women (and men, of course, I did play the Sims intensively myself) without a decent pc.

Hah! EA is going to throw some Bungie in the face of Microsoft!
Oh…nevermind, it’s Crysis 2. More like Generic 2, a
mirite? Let’s see if it manages to be interesting while he’s playing it.

Crysus
[Shooting the robutts, robutts getting shot, yeah that’s pretty good]


What is this I don’t even…it’s looking kickass! And they’re demoing it on a 360 no less! I wonder if this whole sandbox thing will work (probably not) but this demo definitely looks slick as shit. The problem with a sandbox FPS however, is that you’d basically be walking around shooting people without an interesting story and any decent gameplay, which I don’t like. However, I guess I’m not writing this one off yet.
OH-MOTHER-FUCK
CRYSIS 2 CONFIRMED FOR FUCKING THREE DEE! I wouldn’t have thought the xbox would be able to process such awesome graphics in 3D, but apparently it can! Is this a reason to buy a 3D tv? Hell no. But the dumbasses who’ve already bought one can go nuts over this.

Oh look! It’s CLIFFY BEEEEEEEEEEEEE again!

Bulletstorm
[Cliff wishes he was a man and a half himself, but unfortunately he’s barely taller than a little girl]


He’s here to talk about Bulletstorm. Coming in February 2011, this game will be like Borderlands with fancy GoW graphics. So OVER THE TOP SHOOTAN in a pulp sci-fi world. Sounds pretty nice. Hopefully it’ll have a decent story so it can end up being better than the stinker that was Borderlands. It’s looking pretty good in the gameplay demo. Lots of retarded over the top kills and a lot of banter between characters.
“I predict imminent getting the fuck outta here” WHO’S A MAN AND A HALF? I am loving these corny oneliners!
And after watching this gameplay video I think I want to play the shit out of this game.

FUCKING STARWARS UP IN THIS SHIT!

KOTOR
[Bioware implying all 12 year olds aren’t gonna play as sith.mp4]


But fuck, how dare they tease me with a Republic Commando in the background making me believe they’d make a Republic Commando sequel!
Anyway, apparently you can have your own spaceship in KotOR, which is pretty awesome.
My God this fmv is SPECTACULAR! Seriously, this is the most exciting shit I’ve seen in weeks. Of course there’s still not a single in-game image there though, and their last fmv showing was fucking awesome as well, but I still have high hopes for this game. I’m sure Bioware will shake off the stigma of MMO’s as a grindfest…right?

I wonder what the release date on this thing is. Also, their beta version has to be ready since you can actually play it at E3. I wish they’d show some gameplay ;_;

KOTOR2
[Yeah, there’s another one! Because this fmv was fuckawesome!]

That was the ending of EA.
Oobisoft in one and a half hours!

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This entry was posted on 14 June 2010 by in Games and tagged , , , , .

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