Anonymous of Holland            -A Dutchman in Korea-

    Helo welcom 2 my websight

E3 2010 Microsoft Press Conference

You're still wondering what the best blog to follow E3 on is?
Look no further, because you are here! I'll be covering all the major conferences right here, and this year I'll even do it in English, so there's no excuse not to read this shit! Well…except maybe not liking profanity, being alergic to CAPSLOCK or liking Nintendo.

Everything typed between asterisks (**) was added later, the rest is LIVE RAGE.

Anyway, we're off to…waiting half an hour for Microsoft to pull some numbers out of its ass.
EXCITED YET?

T22

I fear the Gamespot servers might be going fucking crazy due to overload again. I might have to search for a backup stream.

1 LOADING
[Could this image be a coincidence? I think not!]

Great, EVERYONE is lagging the fuck off. G4TV just went offline too.
*At this point I just switched to G4TV since it didn't look like Gamespot would start loading any time soon*

Oh, here we go. Call of Duty 2010 – THIS TIME, WE FIGHT UNDERGROUND.

CoD
[Call of Duty? More like Call of Chocolate Milk, amirite?]

These graphics are fucking amazing, but we all know it'll be just the regular rehash. Fucking G4TV has a really tiny video stream too, but Gamespots has YET TO GO ONLINE. I guess I could watch it in fullscreen but then I won't be able to bitch about this boring game. Doze fukken exploshiuns are looking mighty fine though. And so does the stage!
*The stage is looking very awesome this E3, with bigass background screens that can change the entire mood on the stage in seconds. Sure, last years stage was pretty neat, but this thing looks awesome*

Oh here we go, I hate this guy so badly.

Faggot
["And I swear my wallet was THIS big!"]

"We threw some money at Activision so xbox 360 users can throw away their hard-earned cash at overpriced DLC sooner than PS3 owners!!!"
Lol. GAYLO, GEAHS OF WOAHR, CALL OF GRENADES! BEST GAEMS ON XBOX 360.
I hate NATAL's new name by the way. "Kinect"? What the shit?
*Natal was unveiled last E3 as Microsoft's answer to the Nintendo Wii. It's basically a very, very fancy camera that tracks your movement and shit*

MOTHERFUCKING KOJIMA UP IN THIS SHIT!

Kojima
[Didyu raik it?]

I LOVE THIS GUY'S ENGLISH! DIDJU RAIK IET? "Radies and Gentremen, I gief yoo, Metal Gear Solid Rising!" I wonder what this game will be like. Kojima has pretty much unofficially said he thinks this game will be a piece of shit because Peacewalker will be the 'true sequel to the award winning franchise' but then again, I'll actually be able to play this one.

MGS
[Raidencuttingshitthefuckup.wmv
]

I wish he'd show some gameplay though, we all know Kojima makes awesome fmv's. Hah, this 'LIGHTNING BOLT ACTION' gets me everyt–OH SHIT IN GAME…FFFFFFFF DAT FUCKING ACTIVE CUTTING SYSTEM FUCK YES! You can pretty much use your katana to cut someone's penis off. You know, kinda like that shitty swordplaying game on the wii, only in HD and with more awesome.
*Kojima's new game 'Metal Gear Solid: Rising' starring everyone's favorite mangirl Raiden is looking pretty awesome. As I said it has an active cutting system, which means you can pretty much decide how and where to cut your enemies. Hopefully it'll work better than the system used in Afro Samurai, because that sucked shit.*

If they're not going to talk about Fable III, I will rage hard. I wanna see dat beautiful bald head of Peter Molyneux! Oh, big words for a small man; apparently Microsoft is showing only exclusives this evening.

WHY HELO THAR CLIFFY B!

Cliffy

[>Cliffy B's face when a woman plays Gears of War]

GoW3 is looking remarkebly…uh…like Gears of War 1. And 2. Graphics don't seem to be as awesome as COD's either. But at least we know it'll be the better game since there's still A FUCKING CHAINSAW ON YOUR MOTHERFUCKING GUN WHO'S A MAN AND A HALF? I'M A MAN AND A HALF!

GoW
[Three men and a half.jpg (moar like 2 men and a half, amirite? ohoho)]

Meanwhile I'm giving up on the Gamespot stream since it STILL hasn't loaded. Fuckers. They sucked it up hard last year too.
Some nice brownan going on.

Hahaha oh wow, Cliffy is sucking kind of hard at his own game. Speaking of men and a half btw, all the characters seem to have lost a few pounds of muscle. I wonder if they didn't enjoy the whole MAN AND A HALF meme?

*Gears of War 3 looked like what you would expect from Epic: same shit, same brown color, same quality. Which means it'll probably be pretty decent.*

FUCK YES IT'S PETER, PRINCE OF LIES! I LOVE YOU PETE! DAT FUKKEN ACCENT!

Molyneux
["And I swear his wallet was THIS big!"]

"I promise this time you can fucking do ANYTHING YOU WANT MAN. SERIOUSLY EVERYTHING." Lol. "In a world you've never seen from Fable before". (*Maybe Lionhead told him to hold back on the empty promises a bit? Surely 'In a world you've never seen before' would've sound better?*) The graphics still seem kinda meh-ish, but designs seem to b–WHAT THE FUCK?
DID YOU GET RID OF PETER ALREADY? FUCK YOUR SHIT, MICROSOFT, I WAN
TED TO HEAR MORE ABOUT FABLE! DUR HUR LOOK AT THIS GOD OF WAR RIPOFF INSTEAD WHUPWHUP.

>Crytec

Wait…what? Crytecwtfrudoing? What are knights doing in a Crytec game? KNIGHTS DON'T HAVE GUNS, SILLY CRYTEC!

*For some reason, a short trailer was shown of a roman/medieval looking dude with some Kratos blades standing around on a battlefield. So I was thinking 'okay so Capcom made another 'God of War killer'' but apparently Crytec is developing this. And we all know Crytec even sucks at what they supposedly do best which is create techdemos..uh..I mean, FPS games, so I wonder what they'll make of this. All they showed was a short fmv though.*

Fuck, after just skipping over that interesting game again we're getting to the OMG YUU GOTSTA PLAY DAT FUKKEN HALO OMIGAWD. I bet that Bungie guy isn't very happy to be there right now. Or maybe he's just got his trollface on. (They were fired by microsoft and have signed an exclusive contract with EA instead) Anyway, Halo Reach, revolutionary, blablabla, no gameplay, shitty fmv, yadayada. Oh hey, this is actually in-game huh? Shooting the aliens, aliens getting shot, yeah, that's pretty good.

Gaylo
[Lookit all dat blue. Blue is the new brown, I hear]

It's nice that G4TV forces you to read the comments from retarded /v/ denizens on their facebooks btw. How else would you get little diamonds in the rough like 'Killzone 3 will b bad it relys on grafix dats it'?
Anyway, Reach is looking like more of the same, but I guess that will please the halo fanboys greatly.
"Half-Life Episode 3 is a better game than this~!!11" Lol dat fukken feed. I guess that guy's from 2020, huh?
*G4TV has a shitty 'livechat' thing running next to their stream where you can read posts retards make on facebook during the show. It's annoying.*

Oh great, it's time to talk about which useless features they're gonna add to Xbox Live!

Kinect
[Niggah, you best no all I use my 360 for is Netflix and Facebook!]

Actually…they're using Natal to do that FUKKEN FUTURE SHIT you see in the movies, you know like rewinding your movie just by waving your hands. Oh, and Natal can apparently also recognize niggers! So it's confirmed for being better than Eyetoy. However, I don't need this fucking wii shit. Want I wanted from Natal is…well…playing with the little girl that was shown in last years E3 ;_;
>Black guys fast forwards his movie
>Audience goes wild
This might be nice for…uh…women. And other people who don't get ALL THOSE BUTTONS on their remotes.


Oh lawd. Here come the Xbox 360 wagglan gaems!
…Nevermind. It's a hot chick with an annoying voice explaining how to use a 360 version of Skype to talk to her gurlfrndz.

GURLZ
["Oh Em Gee R U @ E3 rite now!?"]

Hahaha oh wow, I wish they would hire people who can actually act for this shit, this sounds fucking forced like crazy. It's nice you can watch movies together with people from all over the world, I guess, but haven't we seen this like hundreds of times on pc already? IT'S ALMOST AS IF MICROSOFT ALSO KNOWS ABOUT PCS!!
Time for more GAEMS, you fuckers. "We're missing one really important thing" HOW ABOUT SOME GAEMS?
*This is where Microsoft pulls a 'last year' and goes to talk about shitty crap we can't even use in Yurop, and even if we could, we wouldn't touch it with a 10 foot pole*
Wait it's…ESPN? Anyone gives a shit about this? Why would I watch sports on my xbox, which is connected to my tv, instead of…on my tv? Crazy guys. And another fucking crappy studied and terribly acted little skit there. How long will this take? Seriously, this is worse than Oobisoft's shit last year. KEEP TALKING ABOUT XBOX LIVE, MANG, WE'RE HERE TO HEAR ABOUT THAT! And I'd also like to waste 10 minutes of my time watching rugby. On my xbox 360. With my hands. 'At no additional cost'. As long as I pay for Xbox Live Gold and pay per view.
Okay. So there's gotta be some games now, right?
I mean, there's gotta be some exclusives, right?

Awesome, there's a bum on stage talking about the 360 wagglin' gaems!

John Stamos
[Bitch come on just give me some ESPN and I'll go sleep somewhere else]


OH FUCK DELICIOUS LOLI INBOUND. AND SHE'S PLAYING WITH A TIGER. WHAT THE CRAPPING FUCK IS THIS? DOZE FUKKEN INVISIBLE HANDS!

Loli    CREEPY HANDS

[Delicious loli, creepy see-through hands, what more do you need?]


This is incredibly cute. It's like getting your kid a pet, only it's not really a pet, you're just putting them in front of a television set. I see many great uses for this. And by 'great' I mean perverted.
>From the feed: 'Isn't this just like Natal?'
Yes, people are THIS dumb.
But don
't accidentally think that the Natal games will actually all be as original as this! We've got some serious wagglan for you right here!

Wii body wagglan     Wii racan

[Wi-wa-waggle]


Holy shit this shit is crazy! You will feel even more retarded playing this than you would playing on a wii since you wouldn't just be wagglin' your arms, you actually have to waggle your EVERYTHING! But..uhm…I think the wii might be even MORE obsolete right now. I mean, there's kawaiian gaems, sportan gaems, racan gaems. Now all we need is a fat-ass mascot character whose games stopped being awesome 10 years ago and Nintendo will have nothing on M$.
This…I don't like to admit it, but while you look retarded as fuck playing this it…it looks really fun. Like, seriously. BODY WAGGLAN GAEMS CONFIRMED FOR AWESOME.

Great, it's OOBISOFT. Talking about Wii Fi..I mean 'Kinect Fitness Evolved'.
Once again, the game might be dicks, but this shit is making me wow hard. When they actually get the hang of this whole NATAL thing, we could see games where you're actually BEING the main character. Then again, they might just get stuck in wagglan territory. And…well…that DOES seem a little more likely.
ffffffffffffffffffffffff AGAIN it's skipping over decent games like that Crytec game with knights and Fable III in favor of shitty casual titles. I know how this works now, okay? No need to fucking go on with this boring shit for 15 minutes. *At this point they were pretty much showing off that casual Wii game for 15 minutes, doing yoga exercises and stuff.*
My mom will absolutely love this though, now she won't have to buy a wii since what Nintendo does, Microsux does better.

Okay so now we'll surely get some g..>Harmonix Dance Central. Fuck this shit.
Well, we do get a hot azn chick dancing like she's UP IN DA CLUUUBBB.

Dance Hero
[I'm up in da clubbb, dancin' like a ho. Going down on it in slow-mo]


I'm not sure how a game like this would work though, I mean, it can't be like DDR since you have to move your entire body, so is it just freestylan? Oh..it teaches you to dance and then you have to mimic it. Great. Now I can feel like a fat loser with no sense of rhymth in front of my tv! But seriously…who the fuck is going to play this? Maybe weeaboos would if they release an animu track pack but come on, there ain't no playah in da world who'll go dancin' in front of his friggin' tv with his posse.

Oh lawd. I see a Sonic game in that Kinect line-up!
*And we all can only guess how bad that'll be*

OH FUCK WHAT THE SHIT FUCKING LIGHTSABER GAME FUCKING SHIT YES I AM CUMMING IN MY PANTS. IT'S OVER, NINTENDO IS FINISHED!

Star Wars
[Nintendo Status: [âœ−]
Told  [ ] Not told]


Seriously, after fucking years of sucking ass on the wii and waiting for a decent lightsaber game, it's microsoft who scores that shit. It looks like crap, but who cares, right? I CAN BE THE LITTLE JEDI NOW!
*Unlike the piece of shit wii games, this game will apparently offer 1-1 movement range to unleash your motherfucking Jedi skillzzz on. It will be glorious. You will be Star Wars Kid and no one will laugh at you!*
I suddenly wonder how much Natal is gonna cost. I mean…this shit's gotta be expensive, right? Not 599 UH ESS DOLLAHS expensive, but still expensive.

Here's that asshole again.
EKSBAWKS FREE SIZTY IS UNIVERSAL ENTERTAINMENT.
I guess this is the end, then? Which pretty much means all M$ had for exclusives were a GoW game and a Halo game…did I get that right? Wait..is this E3 2005?

OH LAWD A FUCKING SLICK-AS-SHIT REDESIGN XBAWKS OUT OF FUCKING NOWHERE!

Redesign
[Look at this slick black shit. You know you want one of these next to your tv]


And apparently it isn't…WHAT THE FUCK IT'S AVAILABLE RIGHT THE FUCK NOW? I will fucking buy one because apparently it isn't a fucking noise monster and it's a lot smaller. And it looks fucking slick. For the same price as the regular xbox? DAMN YOU MICROSOFT!

Okay, so that was it, I guess. I wonder what Sony has in store for us to top this (not that it would be especially hard to top). Probably their very own wagglan device which probably won't be better than Natal. And..uh..nintendo? Yeah, well, they…uh..maybe they'll announce another one of those heartmonitor things?

Tl;dr version: SKITTELS CONFIRMED FOR E3 WINNAR!

Next up: Actual GAMES at the EA and Oobisoft Conference!
And yes I will hate on Assassin's Creed 2010!
Stay tuned!

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This entry was posted on 14 June 2010 by in Games and tagged , , , , .

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There's just no stopping this guy!
Season 2 #GSL champion #김대엽 #Stats  is also your Season 2 #SSL champion!
In an amazing back and forth, the #Protoss ultimately managed to defeat his #Zerg rival #박령우 #Dark.
As the #Starcraft season is coming to a close, I can only look forward to more of the same next year.

#Seoul #Korea #SouthKorea #SC2 #스타크래프트2 #스타2 #Starcraft2 #esports #gaming #progamer #Korean #gamer #videogames #tournament #저그 #프로토스 #경기 #게임 #프로게이머 #champion #Splyce From #temples to #churches.

#church #Korea #SouthKorea #Seoul #religion #Christian #Christianity #cross #Korean #spooky #spoopy #filter #woods #교회 #무서워 #서울 #기독교 I had a great time working with #SBS on their new program #내방안내서 in the beautiful #Mihwangsa #temple. I'm sure that @zazimusic has made @haemin_sunim proud with their song based on his book, #멈추면비로소보이는것들.
며칠동안 #미황사 에서 시간을 보내는 게 큰 인상을 주었고 만난 사람들 너무 친절하게 챙겨서 감사하는 말 밖에 못 한다.
다들 #수고했어.

#Korea #SouthKorea #tv #filming #television #tvshow #Koreantv #Buddhism #Buddha #traditional #절 #불교 #텔레비전 #쇼 #촬영 #버라이어티 #발송 I came back to #Seoul yesterday. Waking up to the sound of cars passing under my window and people shouting instead of the sound of the waves rolling over the beach and bugs chirping, I realized again that a part of me hates this city, no matter how much I love it. Now I understand why #혜민스님 makes the trip back to #미황사 so often even though he lives in Seoul as well.

For people living in a big city like this, it's important to #slowdown and not get caught and lose yourself in the flow of things. Life in the #countryside and in a #temple is so different, so much more #empty, but so much more fulfilling.

#Korea #SouthKorea #Mihwangsa #color #peace #reflection #religion #Buddhism #Buddha #tranquility #traditional #절 #평화 #불교 #해남 #108배 #전통 #역사 #생각 #자성 #내이야기 #미황사 에서 사흘밖에 안 보냈는데, 그래도 #생각 을 많이 바뀌었다. #성찰 하면서 내 한국 생활도 생각하고 한국 사람들의 #촌 을 생각하면서 왜 한국이랑 사랑에 빠졌는지 다시 깨달았어요. 한국에서 사는 것이 선물이니까.. 잘 살아야지.

#절라도 #절라남도 #절 #평화 #불교 #해남 #혜민스님 #Korea #SouthKorea #Temple #Shrine #tranquility #peace #reflection #religion #Buddhism #Buddha #혜민스님 의 #미황사 에서 #멈추면비로소보이는것들 많다. #절 의 #평화 를 느끼고 마음을 비우면서 깊은 생각도 하고 한국 생활을 #감사 하는 생각도 많고.. 한국이 역시 #아름다운 나라입니다. 
Another gorgeous #sunset at #Mihwangsa #temple.
I am so thankful to #SBS and 혜민스님 for letting us stay here.
Just like the title of his book, there are many things you can only see when you #slow down. Staying at the temple and talking with the staff has taught me once again that Korea is an amazing country, and I couldn't be happier to be here. 
#nofilter #Korea #SouthKorea #island #traditional #tranquility #nature #wood #meditation
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