Helo welcom 2 my websight
So last up is Sony. Hopefully we’ll see more than just their new wagglestick and some PSP titles. I’m looking forward to The Last Guardian, but that’s about it.
Opening the show is, of course, mister Jack Tretton, Sony’s numbers man who’s quite the match for Reggie when it comes to trying to make his position sound better.
Aaaand that’s what he’s starting with! 10 year plan, sales going up, blahblahblah. It’s pretty odd to see how every company has for some reason embraced this 10 year plan by the way. I mean, Xbox360 is definitely reaching the limits of its potential, but it appears Microsoft won’t be bringing out a new one any time soon with Natal only just being released.
Anyway, back to Sony.
Kaz is here to talk about 3D now, which kinda sucks for him, I guess, since their 3D technology still needs glasses. Sony will be offering 3D movies on their online store, and, obviously, will continue to sell 3D televisions to watch 3D movies on your PSTripple.
Oh hey, there’s a Dutch guy on stage! I can tell by his accent.
So obviously…this is about DA KILLZONE THREE (D).
It’s looking pretty sweet. Graphics look tight as fuck, but that was to be expected. It definitely looks better than Gears of War 3. As for originality…I dunno, it’s just shooting the guys, guys getting shot. You do have some sort of crazy jetpack like thing this time though, so you can fly short distances to shoot the guys from higher up.
Release is February 2011. And…lol, it’ll be fully playable using Sony’s Wagglestick.
Sony will also be rereleasing the Sly Raccoon games in 3D, plus the new Gran Turismo will be in 3D as well, just like Tron and the new Mortal Kombat. 3D is the new HD, apparently.
Oh dear, he’s gonna talk about how they haven’t dropped the PS2 yet, while all they do is release wii ports on it =[
Ah, he already skipped over it. Poor PS2. I love you so.
Here comes the wagglestick!
Excuse me, I mean the ‘Move (tm)’.
Mister Dille is telling us they won’t just be releasing casual games for this shit, but also use it in games that ‘core gamers’ will enjoy. I like how they kept the MAGIC WAND color changing ball on the wagglestick by the way, I thought for sure they’d think it looked to ridiculous to go through with it.
And they’re still making fun of Nintendo. I like that. It forces them to make good on their ‘core gamers’ promises lest they be branded as FUCKING LIARS.
Oh, instead of forcing us to use the Move controller, they’ll be cramming two versions of every game on the game discs, one with traditional controls and one with waggle.
Supposedly, Sony is going to show off some new games we don’t know anything about yet. Let’s see.
First game up is Sorcery, some sort of Harry Potter ripoff.
But something more interesting than that game: Sony’s wagglestick ALSO COMES WITH A NUNCHUCK! This hasn’t been shown before, and it appears Sony doesn’t really want you to see it for some reason, but FUCK YOU TRETTON I SAW THIS GUY HOLDING IT!
The game itself is rather uninspiring, but the motion tracking is FLAWLESS, unlike the Wii’s.
AAAAAND there’s a golfing game. Of course there is. Because every. fucking. console. needs a full range of shitty sports games.
I’m absolutely loving the audience and the presenters. While all the other presentations have been people reading shit off teleprompters sounding like robots, these guys sound like they’re having fun and know what they’re talking about, and they’re actually interacting with the audience.
Another of the new Move games is some sort of cross-over action game with characters like Jack, Dexter, Sly Cooper, Clank, etc. We haven’t seen too much of it though.
I don’t know who Kevin Buttler is, but he’s trying to MAEK TEH FUNNAY pretty hard. But according to the shitty facebook feed he’s actually ‘Fukken awesome he just walks in and interrupts your shit’. He’s trying to speak to ‘DA HARDCORE GAMORZ’ right now about how he has a giant tv on which he plays da gaemz until DEEP INTO THE NIGHT! HE’S A TRUE BRO! OMIGAWD HE’S GREAT MAN! No. Dear God this is embarrassing. Does he really think this is what ‘gamers’ think like? This is a fucking joke. “WE ALL SERVE THE SAME GOD, THE GOD OF GAMING!!!” No. Go away.
Oh, hey, cool story, Move is coming out within a fe…hahaha oh wow. You know about that Nunchuck? Yeah? You’ve gotta buy that seperately. The Move controller is $50, and the nunchuck is $30. That’s right. You’re paying $80 for a wagglestick. And you’ll also need to buy a playstation eye. TROLOLOLOLOLOL.
Man…seeing these people use this thing…everyone will be looking like a fucking retard in front of their tv by 2013.
Hah, they hired some sort of ghetto black kid to promote the PSP. The commercials are actually pretty funny.
Now he’s chatting up the PSP by using Metal Gear Solid. And, well, he’s right to do so. While we get LIGHTNING BOLT ACTION, the PSP gets the true sequel to MGS4.
Little God of War teaser fmv for the new God of War PSP game. They obviously haven’t forgotten about the PSP yet, but the lineup doesn’t seem as strong as it could be. Mostly just movie tie-in games and the like, it seems. Oh, and a new Valkyria Chronicles, FUCK YEAR!
So now I just spent like 15 minutes going around cleaning up the house because he started talking about PSN and he just won’t st–oh, here we are, Little Big Planet 2.
I’m glad they’re getting a chance despite of part 1 not doing very well, because this really is a great and innovative game. YES I USED THE WORD INNOVATIVE. This is where it should be used. What was shown here kinda sucks though..but I think it’s just an example of what kind of levels users can make if they try hard enough. You can use the tools to make all sorts of crazy shit like FPS games, RTS games, Racan games, all within LBP. That’s kinda nice, isn’t it?
Hah! They’re creating some sort of Xbox Live Gold thing, only even worse. You have to keep paying, because you don’t own any rights to what you download – you can only use it while you continue to pay for your subscription. Thankfully it’s only used for ‘extras’ such as game demos and arcade games and such.
NORTH KOREA SCORES! ON BRAZIL! HOLY FUCK!
Ahem. Uh. What’s going on here? Medal of Honor? No thanks. Sure, it looks great, but we’ve already seen this game here at E3 and to be honest it isn’t really very interesting.
NEXT UP IS DEAD SPACE 2
More gameplay, delicious! And yes, I do realize I sound hypocritical, but fuck your generic modern warfare games, I need to get mah sci-fi on.
I’m loving this shit. Hopefully the game won’t be one big as fuck full frontal assault on giant monsters though, that would really ruin the atmosphere of the original.
Hey, fuck, Dead Space 2 on PS3 will include Wii game Dead Space Extraction! That’s mean, can’t we play it using Natal? =[
Oh look, it’s Gabe Newell.
Hey Gabe, when’s Episode 3 coming out? And how does it feel eating your own words instead of hamburgers? “Lol sorz, I didn’t mean it when I said consoles suck dicks, I just wanted to be cool *sadface*”
Well, you can suck it, Gabe. And I won’t be playing your shitty games either.
A new FFXIV trailer.
Looking pretty spiffy, but we all know it’ll be a weeaboo grindfest, albeit a pretty one to watch.
Sony’s showing off their exclusive DLC for Maffia II and Ass is Red 2010. Guess they threw dat monay at the devs sooner than M$, huh?
On a completely unrelated note: whatever happened to ‘I am Alive’? That seemed like a pretty interesting game. Also we haven’t seen jack shit about the new Castlevania yet! I guess I’ll have to catch up on the game-related videos on IGN, huh?
So before this ends..there’s gotta be s– oh, Infamous 2 is up now. Because Infamous was fucking great, right?
Yeah, that’s what I thought. This one looks to be BIGGER AND BETTER though. That’s nice.
Aaaand instead of The Last Guardian we get a sequel to Twisted Metal.
Complete with fat guys with clown masks on stage. Graphics look like dick, but gameplay looks nice and extremely hectic. Extremely unrealistic mayhem everywhere. I like it!
And…that was it. I guess The Last Guardian isn’t moving along too well, huh? They would no doubt have loved to shove a giant thorn into the eye of Microsoft with that huge ass exclusive.
Anyway, that was the end of the E3 ‘coverage’ on here. I think I’ll watch some of the game-related videos in the next few days to get up to date on some of my favorite games, but I won’t be bothering you with reports about them. Hopefully y’all at least enjoyed it a little, and I’ll see you next year!