Anonymous of Holland            -A Dutchman in Korea-

    Helo welcom 2 my websight

한국은 한국 이고 네덜란드는 네덜란드야

Lately, I’ve been dreaming about being back in the Netherlands quite often…

Guus

Even though I miss my country and the people I left behind there a lot, these dreams don’t leave me waking up with a happy feeling..instead, they leave me thinking about how terrible it must be to go back and reduce the time I had and people I met here to nothing but a fleeting memory.

I remember when I came back from my first trip to Korea..I’d been here as long as I’ve been here this time around, but at that time I gathered enough experiences to fill a lifetime. When I returned, I felt awful.. Even though I was back in my beloved home, with my beloved family and friends, I was back in the same place where I had started, and from the very first day the time I had spent here felt as if it was nothing but a dream.

I think, in the end, it doesn’t matter if I spend 6 month or 6 years…if I go back to where I started, I will lose all the time I’ve spent here. The Netherlands will always be an essential part of me, and nothing can take that away, but Korea always risks being unreal, a fluke, a twist of fate. That’s why every day, even though I want class to end because I don’t really see the point of it nowadays, even though I can’t wait for the month to end so I can pay next month’s bills and tell myself ‘this month there will be money left to do something fun’, even though my nights are never long enough and the mornings always come too soon..I don’t want time to pass. I want the day to end but at the same time I wish I could sit there next to my friends staring in bewilderment at words I don’t understand and have no time to study forever. I want the month to end but at the same time I want it to go on endlessly so that I can be here. I don’t want to waste a single moment, yet that seems to be all I do nowadays.

Either way, I’ve come too far to go back to where I started.

Regardless of what I can do, this is something I have to do.

나에게 와봐 형씨

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This entry was posted on 25 March 2015 by in Diary, Korea.

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