Anonymous of Holland            -A Dutchman in Korea-

    Helo welcom 2 my websight

I thought I’d have some answers by now

A couple of weeks ago, my father celebrated his 60th birthday.
That’s a lot of years.
That’s an amount of years that you can’t even imagine when you’re young. When all the scary kids are ’18’ and all adults are ’30’.
‘Old as fuck’, is what I called him in my congratulatory text message on the day.

And then I realized I was half of that.
I’m turning 30 today.
That’s a lot of years.
You could even say that’s about halfway to ‘old as fuck’.
My father was 30 when he had me.
He had a house, a car, a wife. A stable job and plan for the future.
Meanwhile, I refused to grow up; ran away to a far away country with nothing but a vague plan and a sizeable debt.

I’m not sure what 30 is supposed to feel like, but I don’t feel like 30.
Physically maybe, yeah, sure, I could be 45. But not mentally. At 30, you’re supposed to be an adult. You’re supposed to have things figured out. 30, to me, was always objectively the moment where I’d have gotten all my shit together and would be well on my way to living that life that I had envisioned back when I was a teenager. Maybe without all the purple satin, but still.
30 was supposed to be a big deal. But just like how 20 was supposed to be a big deal, it doesn’t feel like much has changed. The strange thing is that when I pause for a moment and think about it, it feels wrong. A 30 year old should not still be in university, renting a one room apartment (but with a separate kitchen!!), worrying about making end’s meet and being obsessed with video games and comic books. That doesn’t sound at all like what 18-year-old Richard imagined when he thought of future Richard. Adult Richard. Two kids and a dog Richard.
But on a day to day basis…it doesn’t feel wrong. This is me. This is who I am. I am the kind of person who stays up until 4 in the morning to play the Telltale Game of Thrones game after coming back from a wonderful date the day after drinking soju and making childish jokes with friends over fried chicken eaten from a urinal-shaped plate. It doesn’t match with my idea of what a 30 year old should be at all, but it is who I am.

So I’ve been revising my theory. Maybe adulthood isn’t something that just happens somewhere overnight, the little adulthood-fairy sneaking in through the cracks in your windowsill, touching you between the eyes with her magic wand and transforming you into what you always knew you would become.
Maybe adulthood is something that just…happens. Slowly. Without you even noticing it.
I’ve been noticing things a lot these days. Living in Korea has made me exceedingly aware of who I am and what I do. How I deal with things and how I wish I’d deal with things. I noticed that even in the short time that I’ve been here, I’ve matured a lot. I’d always thought you would be all matured-out by this age, but that’s not true at all. I gained a deeper understanding and appreciation of friendship, realized my flaws in the areas that are important to me, came to terms with my dependency on others for my own personal happiness and became aware of the ways in which my own thinking influences my life.

But in the end, I guess that 30 isn’t that big of a deal after all.
Just like when I turned 20, no sudden, profound changes took place.
I’m still me as much as I was a week, a month, a year or two years ago.
But just like how 30 year old me is so completely different from 20 year old me,
I expect that some day I’ll just wake up, think about who I’ve become and realize that, at last,
I have become an adult.

I’m in no rush to see that day.
But I did think I’d have some answers by now.

3 comments on “I thought I’d have some answers by now

  1. Ghislaine
    25 April 2017

    Dit is echt zoooo herkenbaar. Zo Ik ik me rond mn verjaardag ook. Maar adulting is stom.

  2. phoebesummers
    25 April 2017

    Hahaha precies mijn gevoel toen ik 30 werd… 24 dagen geleden… Omg ik ben 30 jaar en 24 dagen. Noooo. Laat ik het zo zeggen, het went. 30 is gewoon any other number.

  3. Marcel Luijten
    30 April 2017

    But someday you have to growup and see, your driving a Mercedes benz car.


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This entry was posted on 25 April 2017 by in Diary and tagged , , , , , .

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Forgotten Tomes


  • 26,491 Minds Expanded


Korean food comes in many shapes and sizes, but one of the most famous and well liked among tourists must be the humble #Bibimbap.
Usually not much more than a bowl of rice into which you mix (bibida in Korean) various vegetables, topped off with some spicy gochujang, bibimbap is a staple food that can be found almost anywhere and at very reasonable prices.

There's also quite a few traditionally styled restaurants such as the one in the picture that serve a bit more 'up-scale' versions that resemble the food royalty used to eat many centuries ago.
#Seoul #Korea #SouthKorea #Seoul_Korea #SeoulKorea #Namsan #MongmyeokSanbang #Restaurant #KoreanRestaurant #Gochujang #Traditional #Food #Foodstagram #Koreanfood #Hanok
#서울 #남산 #목멱산방 #비빔밥 #고추장 #밥 #먹스타그램 #푸드그램 #전통 #한옥 #맛집 #남산맛집 You couldn't tell from this picture, but spring has suddenly been unleashed in Korea! We went from actual snow not much more than a week ago to 6° and now 22° today.

Originally, Koreans were always very proud of their '사계절' - 4 seasons. In the past few years though, fall and spring have been reduced to mere weeks as golden brown leaves freeze off the trees in 'fall' and cherry blossoms bloom in tropic temperatures in 'spring'.
#Korea #SouthKorea #Goyang #Spring #Seasons #4seasons #fall #landscape #traintracks #tracks
#4계절 #계절 #봄 #가을 #고양 #선로 대한민국 만세!
Today is a holiday in Korea; the remembrance of the March 1st movement, which marked the beginning of the Korean people standing up to their Japanese oppressors in the early 20th century.

Unfortunately, instead of celebrating this important day in Korea's history, some people use it as an excuse to push their pro-박근혜 agenda. Former president Park Geun-Hye has been incarcerated for months now while on trial on 18 charges, including bribery, coercion, abuse of power and the leakage of government secrets during her ill-fated presidency. In spite of the overwhelming evidence against her, there are still some (almost exclusively senior) citizens who believe she should be reinstated as the legal president of Korea.

In spite of the fact that I don't agree with their politics, seeing everyone singing and waving the 태극기 together did make me feel good, although being one of the only foreigners in a crowd of riled up Koreans also reminded me that I'll never truly be part of their society.
#Seoul #Korea #SouthKorea #Seoul_Korea #March #Demonstration #Rally #Parade #Politics #Flag #Gwanghwamun #Taegukgi #Japan #Occupation #Independence #gyeongbokgung
#Optocht #ZuidKorea #Demonstratie
#서울 #삼일 #삼일절 #광화문 #태극기 #대한민국 #만세 #대한민국만세 #삼일운동 #3월1일 #경복궁 More pictures from the Line store in Itaewon. I love it when a brand sets up something as elaborate as this; I can't stop myself from wanting to take pictures. 
These are also the first post-LASEK pictures I'm in! It is extremely strange to see myself in pictures without glasses, and I still feel kind of 'naked' when I go out without them, but it's already something I know I'll never regret!
#Seoul #Korea #SouthKorea #Seoul_Korea #Itaewon #Line #LineMessenger #LineStore #LineKorea #LineFriends #LineFriendsStore #LineFriendsItaewon #Store #Cute #Bear #Plush #Dollhouse #Emoticon #Emoji
#서울 #이태원 #라인 #라인프렌즈 #라인프렌즈스토어 #라인프렌즈샵 #라인프렌즈이태원 #외국인 #네덜란드 One of the many things I love about Korea is that it has way more 'themed stores' than my own country. For some reason, some companies or brands such as Ghibli, Gundam, Kakao or, as in these pictures, Line, decide to spend millions creating beautiful flagship locations that feel like a mix of an exhibition space and a regular store.

This was the first time I visited the Line store in Itaewon since I'm not very interested in either Line nor Itaewon, but it was definitely a really cute sight to behold.
#Korea #SouthKorea #Seoul #Seoul_Korea #Line #Kakao #LineFriends #LineStore #Store #Shop #Shops #Stores #Brand #Messenger #LineMessenger #Itaewon #LineFriendsItaewon
#서울 #이태원 #라인 #라인프렌즈 #카카오 #가게 #스토어 #라인스토어 #브랜드 A Gangnam view from the offices of my eye clinic, which is incidentally the reason I haven't posted anything in a while; I've been "busy" recovering from LASEK!

If you're interested in the process of getting vision correction surgery in Korea, check out my latest blog post. There's a link in my bio, or you can Google 'Anonymous of Holland'.
#Korea #SouthKorea #Seoul #Seoul_Korea #Gangnam #Sinnonhyeon #BGNEyeClinic #BGN #Eyeclinic #LASEK #LASIK #SMILE #Laservisioncorrection #Visioncorrection #Cityscape #City #Skyline #Simcity #visit_korea #ig_korea
#밝은눈안과 #강남 #신논현 #서울 #대한민국 #라섹 #라식 #스마일 #도시 #도시경관
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